This article should benefit your perception of media and advertising. Today I take issue with use of terms such as “over sized, over stuffed, over…anything.” They make me angry! And I’d like you to feel the same way anytime you see or hear them.

I recall a few years ago looking to purchase a new comforter for my bed. I kept seeing the same thing time after time, “over stuffed” with goose down. I had no idea what this meant. Is there some governing body of “Sizes and Stuffing Standards” that dictates how much things ought to be stuffed or sized? Where these pioneering comforter makers ruthlessly defying such standards by putting just a bit too much in the offending comforter? Resulting in the dreadful “overstuffed” label? Oh for shame, rebellious maker of over stuffed goods. Whatever will the consumer think with their bedding on the verge of explosion? Perhaps that is why you are forced to peddle your goods solely on eBay, you rogue bedding trader.

But the “over” label does not stop there, and seeing it in the watch world truly confounds me. You have over sized watches, with oversized hands, and over sized dials. Yet no one ever seems to talk about over priced ones. None of these things are over sized! If it is was over sized, it would not fit. Over sized hands would look defeating as they hit each other and not revolve around a dial. Over sized watches would slip right off your hand. The rest of them that fit and function just fine? Not over sized.

Why am I making a big stink about all this? Because I’d want marketers to put the same effort into selling things that consumers put into buying things. “Over sized” probably has lots of positive associations of “welcome excess,” and “generous inflation” in people’s minds. But the second anyone takes a moment to consider the verbage they are reading, they instantly have no idea what is being sold to them. The goal of a good marketer is to not have the consumer think, else a sale is not as likely. So when I see the term “over sized’ (etc…) it makes me stop, consider how on Earth that applies to my potential purchase, and move on to something with a more concrete description. In my head, I don’t want anything over sized because then it would not work.

So please, the next time you see the term “over sized” placed on anything, just disregard it or ask the sales person to explain. Which will inevitably result in amusement as they fumble their words. And marketers and sales people, please never use these idiotic terms. It the watch is big, tell me it is a larger sized watch. Don’t make think that some regulatory agency is going to place an “excess tax” on my new watch because it laughs in the face of what is commonly associated as a prudent size watch for my wrist.

Wait, maybe now I get it. They don’t just egregiously throw these terms in product descriptions. A guy named Melvin sitting in “product evaluation” is certified as the world’s most reasonable person, able to determine the exact prudent size and shape of everything. If any innocent object breaches his bureaucratically derived sense of grandmother-sized birthday gift amounts (from the time when you were 5-10 years old), the yellow caution light is activated, and an over sized stamp plunges and over sized ink print of, “Oversized” on your gargantuanly sized next product. Thats the truth, so you can just forget about everything I just mentioned.

For kicks, see “oversized” items on eBay here.