It took me a few years, but I finally found the hands-down, most awesome watch ever made. I’m sorry, the most awesome watch that has ever, and will ever be made. Nothing will beat it’s pristine beauty and function. It is a masterpiece by all measures. The holy grail of design perfection, and complication – and it comes to you from your trusted friends at Life Alert. You know? That company waiting each moment of every day to… help you up… when you’ve fallen down.

Hard to know if this watch actually made it (or will make it) to production. You can see the “emergency button” being the yellow-ish football shaped area on the lower part of the watch face. Now you’ll never again need to carry your Life Alert pendant with you anymore – cause white plastic went out of a style… like forever ago. Thing of this watch as a modern Breitling Emergency. This beauty does a few things well. In addition to telling the time, you have a fine faux gold in the middle of the bracelet links. Like the two tone luxury watch you so want it to be. Don’t let there be any mistakes about it, this IS Life Alert, and this is quality. When showing off your new timepiece to buddies, you’ll want to be damn proud that your watch is AARP newsletter back-page ad fresh. “How much did it cost you?” “I managed to score this baby free with my subscription!” Crafty my friend…crafty. Try that at Tourneau.

The best part is that this Life Alert watch  has a very good chance of becoming a generational pass-down piece. You almost always find the watch still attached to the body, as the Life Alert pendant often gets tossed off the corpse when the Life Alert crew comes for the fine China and Silverware… I mean poor victim. Best yet, when the Life Alert people come to your house expecting to find an alone old person in bad shape or dead begging to be robbed, they might just let you keep the timepiece. That my friend, is service.

Happy April Fools Day.

Seen in the December 2008 copy of Laptop Magazine. [phpbay]life alert, num, “”, “”[/phpbay]