That’s just one of many incredible lines from “FakeWatchBusta,” a song by the Georgia-bred rap group Migos paying tribute to its titular hero – the self-professed “horological Batman,” who grew viral in renown after anonymously posting hilarious pics on Instagram outing social-media whores brandishing bogus bedazzled Breitlings and the like.
The track is evidence that FakeWatchBusta has now fully penetrated the consciousness of the hip-hop celebs it puts on blast – everyone from hardcore rappers Rick Ross, Waka Flocka Flame, and Jadakiss to singer Sean Kingston – for wearing particularly awful replicas of timepieces from luxury titans like Rolex and Audemars Piguet.
Migos is actually one of the biggest new acts in hip-hop right now: they’ve collaborated with everyone from Justin Bieber to Drake (as well as FakeWatchBusta regulars Soulja Boy and Future) and displayed a deep knowledge of bling luxury brands from the group’s first mega-hit anthem from 2013, “Versace.” Migos’ point of view in “FakeWatchBusta” (which came out towards the end of last year) is particularly illuminating in this regard. In the lyrics, the trio’s members create a paean to authenticity – i.e., you know you’re really rich when the watch you wear is so indisputably not fake that you don’t get blown up on FakeWatchBusta’s feed. The boast “FakeWatchBusta can’t bust me” makes where they stand abundantly clear: “Check out my watch – it’s authentic” instructs the first verse, adding, somewhat threateningly, FakeWatchBusta should “stop commenting on my pictures.” (In fact, relations between FakeWatchBusta and Migos are warm, as a recent interview in the respected hip-hop journal Mass Appeal clarifies: in it, Migos’ MC known as Takeoff brags “I know FakeWatchBusta personally, they be in my DM. They know my shit ain’t fake.”)
In the song, the three members of Migos actually display a significant amount of horological knowledge well beyond their faux-platinum peers. As expected, they clearly espouse a passion for all things bling – a diamond-heavy case is “flooded like Katrina” in Migos’ slang similes. However, Migos’ lyrics also exhibit an understanding that watches’ value comes from the prestige of a mechanical movement.
“Remember one year ago, rocking my Quartz?” is one choice line indicating as such; another – “My time is telling the bodily energy” – seems to indicate Migos indeed prefers automatic movements when it comes to the calibre of timepieces they wear. Impressively as well, Migos references specific watch models using nicknames endeared by watch enthusiasts (i.e., most tellingly, the Rolex President gets a specific shout out, not the Day-Date). Ultimately, we’re just psyched that there’s a rap hit with the lines “Whether it’s Rollie, AP, or Breitling, let them see it!/Don’t be scared!” Now, if we could only turn Migos on to Grand Seiko…