Give & Then Take, If Swapping Watches
In my experience, the most difficult part of interacting with any fellow watch lover is initiating the interaction itself. Once two people have established that they are fellow aficionados, then a new world of conversation potential opens up between them. In some instances, we are lucky to occasionally find ourselves at particular gatherings or events populated by people who like watches. The true value of these events, in my opinion, is being able to bypass everything I discussed in the section above because, by mere virtue of being at the event, the people in attendance have tacitly made it clear they are both interested in watches and open to watch conversation.
With that said, even between two willing parties, a conversation between watch enthusiasts can get very awkward very quickly. A time honored ritual among watch lovers is offering someone who admires your watch the opportunity to feel it and wear it. Whether you call this a “watch exchange” or merely temporary “watch swapping,” a core tenant of taking off your valuable timepiece and giving it to someone else is showing respect.
Respect comes in two forms, and it is related to the value or precious nature of the watch and also to the fact that it must be properly handled. I suppose you could be the type to only hold someone else’s timepiece over a tray with white gloves, but that isn’t usually how it goes. The idea I want to suggest may be obvious to some, but it bears mentioning for those who haven’t considered the notion. In short, if you are going to look at someone’s watch you should take your watch off and offer it to them in return.
This is probably a good time to mention that it is often faux pas to actually ask someone if you can see their watch unless you feel that the situation merits it. One can never guess as to someone’s comfort level to share their timepiece with others or whether or not that person has had a previous poor experience with someone mishandling their timepiece. If you want to see a watch owned by someone else, it is best to begin by making it clear you are familiar with the watch and that you are a safe person to hand it to. Typically, this is done by expressing specific interest and even offering details about the watch that only someone with expertise might know (such as its history, the movement, etc.).
Stating such facts to someone wearing a watch you want to check out acts to calm them down letting them know you’ve handled watches like that in the past and that your interest in holding their watch is something akin to academic/enthusiast excitement. Even if you have no desire to walk away with their watch, they have no idea if you are someone with butter fingers that might accidentally drop it. Being granted the right to handle someone’s watch isn’t automatic, and it must be earned – even if that trust is developed over the period of minutes or even seconds.
Of course, you might speed up the interaction by simply offering your watch to them to check out if they voice any interest in what you are wearing. This might make it clear to the other person that you want to see their watch and is also a friendly measure of good faith. It can also communicate your “sharing” personality insofar that you want others to appreciate why your watch has points of interest.
There will be times when you offer your watch to someone and they politely refuse it. There are a number of reasons for this that may have nothing to do with them not being interested in it. Perhaps they simply aren’t personally comfortable handling your timepiece (such as being both clumsy and aware of that fact) or if they simply don’t like your watch enough. Perhaps they refuse to swap watches because they know it might imply having to share their own. In order to avoid an awkward “failed” watch exchange, it is a good idea to gesture as though you are about to take off your watch and ask them “would you like to see it?” This offers the other person a dignified way of declining your generous offer prior to you having made the effort to take your watch off.
A small addition to this conversation regards if you are sitting at a table or at some place with a relatively safe surface area (free from too many wandering hands). If you are in such an exchange with a watch person it can be a good idea to simply take your watch off and rest it on the table. This sends the message to the other party that they are free to handle your timepiece if they so choose, but shouldn’t feel obligated to do so.
While each situation is unique, the bottom line is that people interested in seeing a watch worn by someone else should be aware that it will often require them to share their own watch. Asking to see someone’s watch can be aggressively forward in tone, and the best bet is to both show interest in their watch and further make it clear that their timepiece will be safe in your hands, even if you are going to handle it only temporarily.
Mind Your Taste Prejudices
When dealing with passionate people you are also going to encounter sensitivity. People who are passionate about timepieces tend to also have very specific opinions about the watches they like (and those that they don’t). Like cars, art, food, or wine, anyone who loves the subject matter has items they prefer, and by definition, things that they strongly avoid. The vast world of watches out there means that there is something for everyone and that no two watch lovers may ever fully agree on what makes a good timepiece in design, construction, price, and style.
In my years reading the comments people make on aBlogtoWatch – not to mention the things I hear in person – I’ve come to fully appreciate how deeply people’s tastes and prejudices run. Chances are that any watch lover you encounter will have extremely specific tastes. What varies is how open they are to discussing your tastes. Consider politics – which is actually a good example. Some people will quickly and sometimes obnoxiously assert their political views on an unwilling audience whether or not they have tested that audience to see whether they are similarly minded. Alternatively, some people may hold very specific and strong beliefs but be so polite as to appear entirely neutral (when in fact they are not).
What I can say without a doubt is that to love watches means one has a particular taste in watches. As it is with most things in life, diplomacy is your best policy when it comes to openly expressing your tastes. I feel that a free and clear sharing of opinions is good for the watch community. With that said, lack of tact or finesse can quickly lead to hurt feelings or insult.
No matter what your taste preferences in watches are, be they for brand, design, size, age, price, color, or anything else, there is probably someone else out there with equal education and sophistication who can legitimately feel otherwise. No one person can define what a “good watch” is. If that were possible, the universe of timepieces would be boring indeed. So when sharing your own opinions about watches tread lightly and wait to hear what the person you are speaking to feels. Always focus on making opinion statements as a matter of taste (“while not everyone feels this way, my own personal preference is for X”), and allow other people who have contrary opinions to state them safely and with dignity.