Today I’m filled with cynicism and Aquanautic is just feeding into it. I really don’t have a problem with brands like Aquanautic that seem to appear from the ether with gaudily appointed watches, but when such pointless models come out assaulting my sense of reason, I am forced to step back a few paces back and question their motives.

Aquanautic seems to have one major goal, create and market expensive diving themed watches for people who really don’t care much about watches, but perhaps want appear to care about watches. The brand has no real history, and a name which is an adjective; “having the quality of traveling in the water.” It is all pretty thin. At least they could have used a noun for a name. Basically you just get a bunch of precious metals, some fancy complications, more adjectives, and throw them in a blender; I suppose in this case a sea cyclone. The result is a mishmash of concepts (literally and figuratively) and you have the Aquanautic Diving Tourbillon Monopusher Chronograph.

So lets see what we have here. A large, no make that really large 52mm rose gold case (that’ll set you back at least $30,000 right there alone), that has titanium and PVD coated steel in the mix. The strap is rubber, and the internals are a complex tourbillon chronograph movement sourced from, well someone else (BNB actually). The watch is rated to dive to 300 meters, though no one will likely ever dive with one of these massive watches. The face of the watch is a complex skeletonized look, with a pattern that appears to be a straight on look at a submarine complete with the observation deck. Cute touch, if it didn’t take away so much from the legibility. The amalgamation of lines and angles, and everything else going on with the watch is just too much for anyone to focus on any one feature. Personally, my take on the face design is similar to a train wreck, I can’t stop looking at it, but only because it is a terrible tragedy. No doubt some people will appreciate the watch for its brazen ostentatious demeanor, but those with taste just may cower from the sheer overwhelming eyesore which is this Aquanautic watch.

Adding insult to injury is the fact that tourbillon watches for the most part are pure novelties, adding little real function to watches. Yet this “diving” watch, has a tourbillon complication feature that really keeps you from ever diving with it. The whole point of a monopusher (one button) chronograph is to have one button in the crown, yet clearly this watch has a pusher and the crown. So the point is lost. Was there something wrong with a standard chronograph? While the watch technically does all that it is supposed to accomplish, I just ask, “why?” Who asked for a watch like this? Who are these over-funded individuals who simply want a watch that has a fancy sounding name, looks giant on your wrist, and has the same level of practicality that a convertible has on the moon?

Aquanautic’s product design team must have an “if we build it, they will come” motivational theme. They don’t seem to care if their products make sense, look good, or are affordable. I am actually scared to consider what the Aquanautic Diver Tourbillon Monopusher Chronograph will cost. Easily north of $50k, likely higher, and for that price it will need to stay in the family for generations to come, as no one will ever wish take it off your hands.

On the plus side, the watch does tell the time, and features an automatic movement with a 5 day power reserve, which is cool, not unique to this watch, but nice to have. I’m just going to flat out say it, this watch is an ugly eyesore. Other Aquanautic watches do fill some interesting niches, but this Diver Tourbillon is clearly meant to fill a void that it creates when it enters a room (and everyone else leaves).

See Aquanautic watches on eBay here.

See Aquanautic watches on Amazon here. [phpbay]aquanautic, num, “14324”, “”[/phpbay]